http://www.out.com/news-opinion/2015/8/13/meet-women-who-pick-pieces-after-their-husbands-come-out
Men showed up unannounced at their Chelsea apartment, in New York City, to take him out to lunch. Then there was Kaye’s 16-year-old male cousin, who’d developed a close bond with her husband, and the day her husband came to her, trembling, and said: “Something terrible happened. I had a moment of weakness.” Kaye ran to the toilet and vomited. She entered what she calls the bargaining phase of grief, allowing her husband to have sex with another man once every six months, but that couldn’t last. When she found the love letter from the cousin to her husband, the marriage ended, albeit gradually.
Her husband later moved to Florida with his lover, but the shame and torment experienced by so many gay husbands once married to straight women persisted. When their daughter, Jennifer, came out as a lesbian, Kaye says, her husband laid the blame on her. He forbid Jennifer to hold her girlfriend’s hand in public and made her cover up her rainbow tattoo when she came into his home. In 2002, at the age of 22, Jennifer died from a heroin overdose. Four year later, at age 23, their other child, Jason, died from a lifelong illness. Kaye and her ex no longer speak.

Barbetta’s husband was always strongly homophobic, a churchgoer, and a Republican. “Classic,” she says. One day he came home. “It was almost like he was starstruck,” Barbetta recalls. “You know that look when somebody is falling in love.”
Her husband was shopping at Pier 1 Imports and told Barbetta he’d made a new friend, the manager, and was excited that they were going to become gym buddies. Barbetta went to the store.
“He was 20 years younger than my husband. He had dyed hair and an effeminate look. I said, ‘I’m Francine. I think you know my husband.’ He turned 10 shades of white, and I knew immediately,” she says.
This was 1997 and the couple fought to stay together. Once a gentle teetotaler who did volunteer work, her husband turned to drugs and alcohol. He denounced his homosexuality, then claimed to be bisexual, then straight. He sought out counseling through the church. He became physically abusive.
One night, she claims, he tried to kill her. That’s when she left. In 2000, they divorced and her husband moved in with a new lover. By 2005, the two had reconciled and developed a friendship. Then Barbetta’s husband committed suicide by hanging, two weeks before their oldest daughter’s high school graduation.