Programmer: This function has too many conditionals to write. Can't be done. Data-scientist: Have you tried using Stochastic Gradient Descent to write them? DNNs are born Programmer: This function needs too many layers to generate. Can't be done. Data-scientist: Have you tried Stochastic Gradient Descent to pick the right number of layers? ResNets are born Programmer: Each feature of this function needs a dynamic, potentially non-integer number of non-linearities added in order to be generated. Can't be done. Data-scientist: Have you tried Differential Calculus to just generate the function? ODEs are born Programmer: This function is nowhere-differential. Can't be done. Data-scientist: Uh... Pulls out box-counting Programmer: This function can't be described by its fractal dimension. Can't be done. Data-scientist: Oh god... Pulls out Neural Multifractal Analysis Programmer: This function can't be described by its singularity spectra. Can't be done. Data-scientist: Pulls out Neural Multifractal Analysis, but harder this time Programmer: This function can't be described by its singularity spectra. Can't be done. Data-scientist: [Maximum Call-Stack Exceeded]