The reason for lack of understanding of BDSM is ignorance. It is the same as it used to be for homosexuality some time ago, when people used to see it as a perversion and rape, and it is similar to what they think of pedophilia now. But some people are naturally dominant, submissive, sadists or masochists, same as some people are naturally gay or bisexual or just as some people have earlier sexual urges than others. I would even go so far as to say that most if not all people are naturally inclined to some sort of BDSM play or another, though most suppress it for cultural or social reasons. Social pressure is such that being a submissive is shameful and being a dominant is violence — and in the West it is particularly applied to Maledom, as part of the general Western crusade against manliness and everything male. There's enough femdom content, if you go to, say, deviantart, you'll see all kinds of the most extreme femdom openly posted, but Maledom is rare and kind of vanilla in comparison. Same applies to mainstream porn, if you go to, say, clips4sale, you'd also discover that most of its content is femdom. This, of course, does no justice to all the dominant Men and submissive women around, who learn to view their sexuality as something sinful and vile, almost akin to actual rape and actual slavery. Who can tell, how many of current problems of the West are due to all those vilified and suppressed sexualities? And I think many naturally dominant Men growing to be "assholes", as you put it, is also one of those problems stemming from this same root. It is really difficult to stay sane in a society that sees your sexual preference as unacceptable, again, we can see it with gays in the 1930-s, for example, or modern gays in islamic countries, and modern pedophiles etc. This can and will change, should the dominant Men "come out of the closet", so to speak, but not before the misandrist ways of the West would change. And yes, I agree that having more women than Men in a society is not necessarily a bad thing. It is also a natural thing, it's how it's used to be back when most Males were filtered out by wars, crime, hard labor and lack of any social security whatsoever. But there's another possible alternative: to keep the ratio as it is, but encourage more active sexual demeanor in females. If girls and women would be more open about their sexuality and it would be more accepted and supported in society, without any shaming and stuff, the amount of sexless Men would also decline. The age problem, where most Men only view women of certain (rather narrow) age range as attractive is also on the verge of being solved with modern medicine and biotech. I think we would live to see the time when it would be impossible to tell a woman in her 50-s from a teenage girl by her looks. So it could be that a balance where everybody can get laid when they want to is achievable without any considerable reduction of the number of Men.